INFP Personality: Mind Wiring For Personal Growth

INFP Personality: Mind Wiring For Personal Growth

INFP Wiring of the Mind. Hey it’s Joel Mark Witt from Personality
Hacker. As an INFP your mind is fundamentally wired
differently from other personalities. You’ve probably already heard that you are an introvert,
intuitive, feeler, perceiver. And a lot of articles and resources focus on the behaviors
you show the world as an INFP. Behavior can be helpful – but it isn’t the
complete picture when figuring out your personality. I want to give you a peek inside your mind
to expose the mental wiring that makes you an INFP.Let’s get started. Your four letter code INFP gives us insight
into how your mind is learning information and making decisions. The primary way your mind makes decisions
is a mental process we’ve nicknamed “Authenticity.” It’s technical name is Introverted Feeling.
When evaluating any decision – Authenticity asks the question “Does this feel right?”
It’s a feeling process concerned with core values, motivation and conviction. Imagine a four passenger car. If one of your mental processes could drive
– it would be Authenticity. Using this mental process puts you in flow. You’ve been using
it your whole life. It’s how you decide what to do each day.
If Authenticity is how you make decisions as an INFP, then the mental process we’ve
nicknamed Exploration is how you learn new information. The technical name for Exploration
is Extraverted Intuition. When looking at the world – Exploration asks the question
“What if?”“What if time is relative?”“What if everyone was forced to hug each other instead
of handshakes?”“What if numbers had gender assignment – what gender would you assign
to the number eight?”Think about that four passenger car again… if Authenticity is
in the driver seat – then Exploration is in the front passenger seat. It is your co-pilot
mental process and what we call your growth state. Of course – this is a four passenger car so
you also have two mental processes in the backseat. Sitting right behind the co-pilot is a mental
process we call Memory. Memory is all about precedent, safety, doing the reliable thing.
It’s about realizing who you are based on your past and your ties to the past. This mental process has the development of
about a ten year old child. Finally – behind the driver of Authenticity
sits a mental process called Effectiveness. We call this your blind spot or three year
old mental process. Effectiveness is a thinking process and asks the question, “What works?”
or “What gets the job done?” without regard to personal feelings. Notice – we haven’t talked about INFP behaviors.
Instead, I’ve been talking about the mental wiring of your mind. Behaviors can only give
us clues to how your mind is wired. It’s far more interesting to dive into WHAT CAUSES
our behaviors as people. Here at Personality Hacker – We don’t talk
about personality types for their own sake. We think understanding your personality is
one of the best ways to frame your personal growth journey.And we attract INFPs who are
interested in personal growth.Next up – I want to talk about the best way to grow yourself
as an INFP. Remember the car model we used to show the
mental wiring of your personality?  As an INFP your co-pilot is the mental process called
Exploration (it’s technical name is Extraverted Intuition). This is what we call your growth position.
It’s the highest leverage point for growth in your personality.
Exploration allows you as an INFP to test your convictions and core values in real-life
situations. Are they authentic to you?Do you have unrealistic
expectations for the outer world?Is there a piece of awareness you’re missing?
Sometimes the only way to experience your own myopia is to get out into the world and
see for yourself. Exploration helps you get clear on what’s
true for both yourself and the outside world. Instead of being seen by others as having
your ‘head in the clouds’ you become inspirational. There may even be a radically new way of experiencing
a new point of view, leading to an awesome new innovation.
Growing your Exploration can be a challenge. Every personality type tends to avoid growing
their co-pilot mental process. But here lies the power of understanding your personality. It feels right to focus on something that
can expand your experience of the world. It feels like it’s in alignment – that to
feel more authentic – you’ll need to continue expanding the experiences and information
you work with. It should feel in alignment – that to continue
doing the right things – you’ll need to get outside yourself and experience the world
for what it is – not what you wish it was. Only then can you discover what really matters
to YOU on a core level. As an INFP – Your Exploration process can
help you refine what’s right for you. Don’t ignore this advantage of increasing your awareness
of the outside world. Start asking “What if” questions. Start
pushing buttons all around you just to see what happens. Explore a new part of town.
Get up on a Saturday and just start walking with no agenda. Let yourself ramble.
Try a new food each time you go out. Join an improv class. Do what it takes to start messing with the
environment around you.As an INFP you will bring the best version of yourself to the
world when you get outside your comfort zone and explore every aspect of life. Developing Exploration makes you as an INFP
grounded and approachable. We’d love for you to keep us up to date
about your journey. One of the best places to do that is our Facebook page (Facebook
dot com forward slash Personality Hacker).And of course – come over to Personality Hacker
dot com and leave a comment – ask a question – or take our personality test.
Next I want to talk about the defense strategies your mind uses that steal happiness from you.And
of course – what to do about it.The word defensive. You probably think of of an emotional state
– or someone getting offended in the moment. “She’s acting so defensive.” someone
might say. But I’m not talking about emotions. I’m
using the word positionally. As an INFP you have a specific area of your mind that you
defend. As an INFP – That’s your Memory process
sitting in the backseat of your car. It has the sophistication of a 10-year-old child.That’s
okay when you use this process to create intimacy or playfulness. The trouble starts when you
begin to rely on this 10 year old process to convince yourself of core values you haven’t
tested in the real world. Since Memory is concerned with precedent and
what came before – it can stop you from expanding your worldview and the experiences you take
in. Memory (it’s technical name is Introverted
Sensing) generally shows up when you’re afraid to take a risk – a risk you may intuitively
know is right for you. For other people, playing it safe is the best choice. But as an INFP
you’re much better at taking risks. If you let your 10 year old of Memory do your
thinking for you, it will encourage you to become an “experiential shut-in,” closed
to any new experiences and your convictions will become unrealistic. At worst, INFPs can even become physical shut-ins,
so afraid of taking risks they rarely leave the house and instead choose to entertain
themselves in a “safe” environment. You need to explore and take chances to prevent
becoming stagnant in your choices and worldview. Don’t let your Memory process steal your
happiness.The solution is to focus on growing your Exploration process like we’ve talked
about before. I want to hear from you. How are you letting
your 10 year old of Memory hijack your happiness? What are the ways you as an INFP are playing
it safe? You can leave a comment or take our personality
test over at Personality Hacker dot com. Next we’ll talk about how you best show
and receive love as an INFP.I’ve got two quick lists for you today. First – how INFPs
ask “do you love me.” Second – how INFPs show other people love.
Here are a few examples of how INFPs ask do you love me? Imagine an INFP asking these
questions: Do you think I’m being real with you?
Do you trust my motives and intent? Will you support me no matter what – do you
have my back? Will you give me space to be me?
Here are examples of INFPs saying “Yes – I love you” Imagine an INFP making these statements:
I will be patient with your honest expressions I will honor your feelings and identity, even
if it’s a struggle for both of us. I will hold space for you and give you alone
time when you need it I will have your back no matter what the fight
is I will trust you have my best interests at
heart As an INFP you are probably nodding in agreement.
Just remember that other personalities can sometimes see these ways you show love passive
or self absorbed.Feel free to share with the people in your life how your mind works. Let
them know the ways you show love are authentic for you.
If you want to go deeper in your personal development – we have tons of resources, articles
and recordings about personal development through the lens of understanding your personality. Come over to Personality Hacker dot com.
Next up – let’s talk about where to go next in your personal growth as an INFP. I have
some action steps for you. We’ve been talking about YOU – the INFP
personality type. I’ve already detailed the mental wiring of your mind. We’ve talked
about your highest leverage point for growth and shed light on your defensive strategies.
And we’ve outlined how you give and receive love.
So what’s next for you as an INFP? How will you launch yourself on a personal
development journey that resonates with YOU?Understanding that each of us have a unique personal growth
path seems obvious. And yet – self help authors and teachers often teach a one size fits all
model of growth. At Personality Hacker – It feels right that
personal growth will be personalized to you as an INFP. So that’s how we’ve designed
our frameworks and models. You now know the mental process to grow yourself
as an INFP is Exploration. The enemy of Exploration is the mundane and
the rote. Exploration requires freedom to experiment, and too much mundane activity
or reliance upon procedure is disheartening to your Exploration process. Set up your conditions to access this mental
process as much as possible.   A good way to practice this technique is to
seek out new situations you would normally avoid. If there’s a question of doing something
that feels right to you, but may have hassle or an ‘unsafe’ element to it, practice
taking the risk instead of playing it safe. It’s common for INFPs, once they get past
the ‘scary’ part, to say “Was that it?” Most of your growth happens by being adventurous
and letting go of the belief that you must live the way others want you to live. If you really want a deep dive into your individual
growth plan as an INFP I invite you to check out our INFP Personal Development Starter
Kit.You can find more information at Personality Hacker dot com.
Let me know what personal growth actions you are taking in your life and what has already
worked for you.I’m Joel Mark Witt for Personality Hacker.Talk with you soon.


100 thoughts on “INFP Personality: Mind Wiring For Personal Growth”

  • Personality Hacker says:

    Learn More About INFPs:
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  • Zoe Nightshade says:

    "Really, was that it?!" Super accurate for me, made me smile involuntarily.

    Also, 8 is super non binary in my eyes. Like that one friend who looks good in everything.

  • im a cat not a hermit, but y know as a cat i like my personal space so i tend to procrastinate most of the time but i know my limitations so when i feel bored i go out explore new places even if im alone and i get to see the possibilities of the things around me, like it gets my creativity run wild so i planned on living in the forest where theres so much possibilities and maybe because im a risk taker so i wanted to see how am i going to survive in the wild and become a lion myself.

    nevermind me im just a kid that played so much survival games

  • Oh, the ten year old is definitely driving the car right now! My problem is I live with two other introverts and every time I'm like ,"Hey guys let's go out and do this!", I just get shot down. I don't have the strength to drag everyone. I can barley muster the courage myself. It's a major problem.

  • I wonder if there are any case studies for our personality type and parental narcissism. The few that I've encountered had lots of childhood abuse. Myself included and I'm home approximately 8 days per week.

  • superflysquirrel says:

    This was so helpful. And definitely me! I should have taken notes…I do often feel like taking risks are scary or uncomfortable. Even though I know I might benefit. Weird. I'll think on these for sure. Also, I've thought about it a while and it was tough…the number 8 is Male. I thought first it should be female, just look at the shape, practically hourglass! But that's too obvious. Therefore, it should be Male. Lol

  • Hah! Now I feel inspired enough to pick that one hobby I always wanted to do up, just to drop it tomorrow and get back to playing video games and procrastinating. 👌

  • OMG, I've become a physical shut-in… Thank you so much for this great advice !!!!!
    I always felt as if I were afraid to be happy…

  • Barney Sousųke says:

    I am doing all of these, being spontaneous. Exploring by myself, being so much productive by myself. One time while travelling, I've met my ex-girlfriend and never felt so in love, which is in my case rly hard being an introvert myself. First time have ever I used authenticity dealing with relationships. I feel it was like a very productive relationship/ a mature one. But never thought it would end so fast. But what really bothers me is that I seemed to be so easy to get over her although I knew that I loved her so much.

  • It's summer break so I can't go to school and make friends there, and where I live it's unsafe to go out on your own as a 14 year old girl, and i dont really have anyone to take my out (if i have anywhere to go in the first place, which is unlikely). And the people I text on whatsapp/instagram etc aren't really my type, i feel like i cant really connect well with the people i know. Even the people i used to be really close friends with, i feel like we've grown apart. So i literally have no other choice but to stay in my room watching youtube and thinking about how lonely i am every single day. I honestly dont know what to do anymore. I could wait for school to open again, but if i end up going to the same school then i probably wont have any friends just like last year, since all the people in my class weren't very nice. I try writing songs about it, but it doesn't really change anything. And i could talk to my sister about the way i feel but the last time i tried to months ago i started crying and so did she and i felt bad for making her feel bad. So idk what to do help

  • Abraham Kalaoun says:

    Really really enjoyed the information here, only found out I was an INFP about seven months ago!! But it feels GREAT knowing my general type so I can understand how to use that information to be a better and more successful human being 🙂

  • Love andGrowth says:

    I have a cptsd so I'm sure that also hijacked my 10 year old memory so I think it goes alot deeper for me n I do create a safe place to entertain myself from but I'm aiming to practise love to others even triggering people. N I'm aiming to try new things n goal challenges being travel n risks that make me more me too. But it will take small steps that I'm taking just now. So it will take time.

  • Emilysolarstar 101 says:

    I feel like Ive allowed my 10 year old self to take the wheel, As it is so hard for me to do anything that causes me any bit of fear. I am living in such an unhealthy way. Each day my fears and anxieties feel like they are getting worse and I am barely touching the strings that take controll of my life anymore. Each day is a nightmere im growing more fearful of living in, and my comfort zone is now my prison cell. I never knew my thought process and memory was behind all of this!!! I really want to get better and I dont understand how, And I am glad that this video exists to help me understand myself so I could cope! Thank you

  • As an INFP, this video was SO beneficial to me, I can barely put it to words. Thanks so much for the info & advice to my growth as a human being 🖤

  • Out of all these comments, I can say only 10% are actual INFP's. This is my third time watching this, I've never commented until now. Just a heads up for the real INFP's watching this. 😉

  • My dear INFPs follow your feeling and intuition and everything will be fine….accept that the real world sometimes hit you in the face and will challenge your principles every day. You can do everything you want but you have to fight ! Just start exploring and realize that your fears are illusions made up by your own mind. There are no limits to what we can achieve especially with our "what if-thinking" if we act on it. Take matters into your own hands and stay authentic all day long…people that are supposed to be in your life will respect and love you for it.

    Stay true to yourselves, use your gifts wisely and trust your feelings…they will guide you and will be an extraordinary inspiration for others on this beautiful journey called "life".
    We are born leaders, who sometimes dont realize what we are capable of.
    It took me almost 28 years to understand this…well atleast I did at some point ^^

  • I have an inkling that I need to be doing music and social media influencing, but I’ve been holding back for years. Definitely letting my 10 year self run the show. I keep thinking that it’s too much of a risk to try to make that a career. But for some reason I know it’s actually something that has a high possibility of working out. Especially with the friends and connections I have. It just seems like a dream that everyone thinks they want to do. Yet I still feel like it’s the right choice. I haven’t finished watching this video yet. I’m gonna finish and see what else it says. This is wild and makes so much sense.

  • Sherry Fordyce says:

    Sorry I could only get through a quarter of the video 2:28
    . My mind started to wonder. Then I realized what's the point, I already missed most of what you said when I refocused on the video. INFP 🙋‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤦‍♀️

  • For a long time, I hated being an INFP. I never felt like I belonged, I was the odd one out and I took things to heart. I want to learn and take in new information, but reading it isn’t the same as being part of it. I want exactly what you described; exploration!
    Fear has been my enemy for a long time, and even now it’s blocking me from taking risks. I use to love the idea of trying something new, or “I want to skydive at least once! Or give clubbing a try” I’m starved to try something new.

  • Clara Irving-Mayes says:

    You're right, I'm playing it safe. Mainly because I go to the pub after work, the same one every time. I'm relying on Memory because I know the place and who will be there even though I know I don't find it satisfying. It's just that I don't know what else to do.. or maybe I'm afraid of just trying stuff..

  • First I thought he is describing us through showing a female sanitary pad, then I realised it's a car. Yay for INFP imagination 😁

  • So true fellow INFP’s so true. I’ve been going at my own pace to ‘get out’ there more and more. Sometimes I take ten steps forward and five steps backwards. I love my alone time, but I understand if I want to have fun, be adventurous, and support myself all at once I need to self-develop. It’s my way of living and exploring the world as the ‘reluctant hero.’ Maybe that’s also why I love the Harry Potter series so much. Ok, now I’m rambling and going off topic there. My mind does tend to jump from one thing to the next constantly, which is a reason why I can never seem to finish a story/book even though I desperately want to; and I really will this time! Okay, I’m done typing my random thoughts now. Great video!

  • Wait, and about the 3 year old child? Well, whatever

    I want to ask my INFP tribe, do you guys like to go party, to drink alcohol, smoking? I hate that. And people often want to drink or go to party, I always tell them a excuse because I don't want to go. This is so annoying. What is fun about parties? The alcohol, the musics that I don't like…
    I'm tired of telling excuses, maybe I just should say "No thanks. I don't want"

  • gentle reader says:

    hmm I saw number 8 as female, its round, no sharp edges, warm and comforting,cuddly..ok is that the 3 year old or ten year old lol I pondered that also lol

  • Sean Christopher Daniel Diaz says:

    I get super defensive and hate it! I relate to this and appreciate being able to realize and work on that aspect of my social skills…(or lack of)

  • " how are you letting your 10 year old steal your happiness?"

    Well, I'm still doing the 'safe' thing that brings in good money even though it hurts me physically. I haven't yet made the leap into following my dream, though I will say, it's close. I've been grinding away for years, never really achieving my plans, but finally I'm starting the process of buying my house. Once I have that I'll have a place to do all of my constructive hobbies, and then it's dream time. I need an enclosed shop space that I can use/remodel as I see fit, so I've needed to own. Once I do, no more trucking for me (over a decade experience as a truck driver, and I'm really starting to hate it). Might even start a YouTube channel…

  • Jennifer Desnoyers says:

    I stay inside.. .ive built a comfy prison for myself and let few ppl in.. But everyone i do let in loves my santuary lol.. I listen to audiobooksca lot and write poems sometimes and make things.. I think i can compensate for removing nyself from the world by spinning my stella merkabah and being a energy traffic cop of sorts and give positive energy to my community from the safty of my sanctuary as energy is no respector of walls

  • sheila cheong says:

    Get out of comfort zone, we know we can. Its always when I pushed myself to do something, and realise its easy. Why am i thinking so much lol

  • T0rtureDx5oul _ says:

    You tell me to try everything, but that’s literally my biggest issue- I HAVE to try everything to determine if it’s right or authentic for me, which is literally impossible and has kept me at a roadblock for most of my life.

  • Britany Guggemos says:

    Geez I can not tell you how much mental power I put into thinking about what gender the number eight would be…. so many variables… excuses me what I calculate

  • When I graduated high school I was a hermit. My parents divorced right before my graduation and a divorce therapist diagnosed me with anxiety, depression and agoraphobia. I wasn't really afraid of open-spaces, it's just that after being bullied at school and at home by kids, I was afraid of what people thought of me and that they were judging me. Once I was released into the adult world of job-finding, I was terrified! When I moved to a new state far away to be with my ENTJ hubby, it opened up tons of new experiences for me. I grew more as a person. It wasnt until I became pregnant with our first child that my depression and anxiety disappeared and now every day is a new experience seen through the eyes of our baby. INFPs love to get into the headspace of others to understand how they think and feel, I think that's why so many of us become actors. My cats and 4 month old baby really puts that side of me to good use.

  • My 10 year old memory brain function l believe ties in nicely with procrastination. I also believe what you were saying about this aspect of the INFP personality type, suggests that we could easily get into routines that feel right for us in a hostile world (l say hostile, because l believe it unlikely on the balance of probability that INFP's ever had much of a say in how society and civilisations evolved, therefore what we percieve about the world, is an unforgiving hostile conditions), so curling up in bed or being in the garden, or in a book or being on the web, is safe and comfotable. We know that we can be over stimulated emotionally by all the shit in the world, and over stimulated by too much beauty in the landscape for example so routine is not so bad until it feels bad. I am trialling being at home as a house husband this year after burning myself out as a teacher, and so far it is working fine, as l am getting a lot of renovating done and for the first time really l don't have to take anybody elses opinions into consideration, l have a free reign.

  • Samantha Abellana says:

    I struggle to find somone who would be as interested in me as I am to them. It's kind of frustrating to not feel reciprocated with the same level of patience and interest I have for others on their thoughts. I never felt entirely free or it feels like, no one has ever heard or seen me in my full version.
    I've got so many thoughts im afraid others might find me annoying or pretentious. Every thing I say always starts with "l". "I feel like…" "I think.."
    Idk. I feel like people think its annoying. So I just keep most of it to myself.
    Its just so, frustrating. But I relieve it through art and writing. So I guess I get by. proceeds to wallow in sadness

  • I'd say everyone in my car is a 3 year old…

    My brain is like a group of toddlers trying to function and survive without an adult present. And somehow we've managed to not die yet.
    Though to be fair I do still live with my parents so we'll see what happens when I try to live on my own.

  • Christine Abraham says:

    Why am i realizing this only now! I’ve been questioning what if’s more so, the last three years. I’ve started to break free from my belief system. People have always thought I’m uptight and cold. Not mean but emotionally unavailable. I only connect with a few people for some reason. It’s either we click or we don’t.

    Another thing I realized being an INFP, I’ve always questioned people’s way of thinking. Not just that, I’ve been fascinated but the way people think and make decisions based of various beliefs. I’ve changed so much and it has put me on a different (better) path than those around me. I believe it’s because I changed my beliefs to a certain extent.

    Does anyone know how to change they’re subconscious beliefs faster? I’m curious to see what happens!

  • Authenticity, childlike exploration and wonder. "Do you think I'm being real with you?" My goodness this is like looking in a mirror.

  • Hadassah Adonai Soul Group says:

    I do not agree with the thoughts that we’re all equal. I mean, come on, we’re not all THE SAME. This means that we all have different qualities and all shine in different lights. This should be considered a beautiful thing, instead it’s been made into something ugly (individuality became a harsh word). Instead of focusing on equality, we should focus on the necessity (and beauty) of not being the same and the goodness that differences bring along. If we do that, we will find out that we’re all one in our differences. Each individual is supposed to be a complement to the world that we are all one in. If we can handle our differences, the world will become a better place. One other thing that most people don’t realize is that we’re being divided through “equality.” It’s an ideal that’s been forced upon us. But, it’s anything but realistic. Very few people realize that the idea of being equal to each other, has the opposite effect on us.

  • This video describes me to the T. I've been put in some challenging situations in the past 3 years and I've done things I never dreamed was possible for me to even achieve. I'm currently experiencing anxiety because I feel restricted where I'm at in life, but I do plan to take risks and not play it safe or please those around me.

  • DichroicVoyager says:

    Authenticity and exploration — the entire enchilada. Brilliant for travel! Addressing city councils and judges, not so much.

  • Alyshia Hildebrant says:

    I retake Meyers Briggs test a couple times a year and I always get INFP and I relate to it quite a bit!
    I feel like a lot of you fellow INFP's can relate to social situations when you can sense that an individual is engaged and interested? I know when I am passionate about something I am exuding that charisma that people are drawn in but that attention feels exhausting and I can't keep that enthusiasm up in an extended social situation.
    It keeps me from taking the leadership roles I want because, although I know I have the values and the foresight, I don't feel like the social constructs of networking are for me and frustrate me from reaching an end goal.

  • I have struggled with depression and anxiety for many years, and in an attempt to understand myself, I learned that I am an INFP. I took an online test, took a few other ones to be sure, and came up the same. The 10 year old memory was intriguing, what would happen if there was a tramatic incident, say at the 10 year old mark? Would this person continue, but unable to grow past this time? And continue well into adulthood, with this event seeming to dictate all further behavior?
    This INFP needs to get out and grow….

  • Playing it safe has shown mostly in my romantic relationships…I might dip my toe in but let memory take over and bail out when I should let myself explore and enjoy

  • Are any other INFP’s suffering from anxiety and depression and panic attacks and having a panic attack right now. And looking up videos on how our minds work because we’re just trying to fix ourselves so we can be happy and ok? No just me? 🙃

  • Compact Infinity says:

    10 yr old is in charge. Yet i just dont care after realizing that what I could've done in life n shits. Like i woulda liked to do all that stuffs. But like at the same time going our is also irrelevant n shit n shit.

  • As an INFP, it's a nightmare when your moral code and religion goes against your desire to explore. I went online to find a sugar daddy and rekindle an fwb arrangement only to regret and block them the next day, because it didnt feel right in the end and I just couldn't afford to hurt my current boyfriend and God. 😥

  • I become physically shut in, more because I don't have much money to travel, even for going to downtown for small supper. And kinda stressing that my ESTJ mom keep texting/calling me when I travel somewhere, asking where am I and what am I doing. Yeah, I knew she meant good to make sure I'm safe, but it feels like I have no space even when alone. So just staying inside to please her. I even had to refuse opportunity to work at Canada as my mom think I cannot survive, and secretly I still afraid that my mom that actually cannot survive (she was alone in hometown since dad passed away, while her family in other city). I only take temporary jobs, or part-timer so I don't get fussed with many things.
    I tried to seek stable job until now, and sort of wishing that I could have job that requires travel. So I have reason to move out and explore, and my mom can understand that she need to let go her fears too. And she can move near her family if she needs company.

  • I'm always struggling with the outside world, and how things that affect me doesn't bother anyone else. Once I open up, and began talking I always feel down afterwards..

  • Louise A Van Norden says:

    I test INFP every time I take the test. But my Huge question is never “what if?” It’s Why????? My curiosity abounds, and I always want to know the why of things.

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