TIPS FOR BIRTH PARTNERS  |  MEN IN LABOUR AND DELIVERY  |  DAD HACKS  |  EMILY NORRIS

TIPS FOR BIRTH PARTNERS | MEN IN LABOUR AND DELIVERY | DAD HACKS | EMILY NORRIS


– Hi guys, welcome back to my channel. In today’s video, we’re going
to be giving you some tips on how to be the perfect birth partner. I’ve got my birth partner here with me, this is my husband, Matt. So we have three children together and he was very good and very helpful throughout the labor and delivery so I thought this would
be a really good video because I get lots of
requests for dad hacks because I make lots of mom hack videos so we thought for the first dad hack video we’ll start out with the labor, so I hope you enjoy these tips. If you do, please give
this video a big thumbs up and Matt might come back again. And, yeah, if you’re not
subscribed to my channel, do subscribe for more
Mom hacks and Dad hacks. – Tip number one! – Is to pack a bag with
some snacks, the drinks, anything you’re gonna need. Obviously, as a mum to be, we pack also a bag for
ourselves and for the baby, but men need stuff as well. – If you’re there for a long time. – Yeah.
– Yeah. – Because that’s the thing with labor, especially if it’s your first baby, normally takes about 24 hours, but it can be more, so bring
everything you’re gonna need, especially when we gave birth, like you didn’t really get
a change to leave the room. – You ain’t leavin’ her side. (laughing) You’re not goin to get coffee, you’re not going for a stroll, you’re not making many phone calls. You are tied down. – Yeah, no, so but maybe pack some drinks, like Matt, we had like
Coke for the caffeine, ’cause, you know, could
be quite long time, also some snacks, but
when it comes to snacks, don’t pack, like, smelly snacks like onion rings or
things that are gonna set your pregnant, in labor, wife off. Bring, like, we had like some granola bars.
– Yeah. – Crisps.
– We didn’t eat ’em. – You packed sandwiches. – Yeah. – Sandwiches. – The midwives ate them. – No.
– They didn’t. – But just like think about
what you’re gonna need, as a man because your partner is gonna be tied up
– ‘Lil bit busy. For once you can’t expect
her to make you dinner. – Yeah, yeah, yeah, so pack a bag. – Tip number two. – Is to have car parking change ready so when you get to the hospital, you’ve got enough money to
buy a car parking ticket but we also? – Oh, we always put a
sign in as well, always, ’cause we go so many times. – We’ve so many kids. – You can also use this
if you’re at hospital and your wife’s not in labor.
(laughing) ‘Cause they’ll feel sorry for you. – Yeah, so, we put a ticket in our car and then we put, I don’t
know if that showed up, we put a sign, you
could even write it now, if you’ve got heavily pregnant
partner, wife in labor. So we had the ticket,
we had that next to it, and we didn’t get a ticket,
and we were in there for like? – Three days.
– Quite awhile. – Tip number three. – Is to support your partner in the lead up to labor and delivery and to know the basics of giving birth. I will put a link down
below if you wanna check out a website that just tells you like the basic stages of labor. – Yeah, just a bit of research,
I think, is only fair. Given what your partner and wife has gone through to have the baby. – Yeah. – I think it’s the least you can do is know what’s going on. Google, YouTube, there’s
so much our there, so much material, so just
do a little bit of research. – Mmhmm. And we did like, antenatal
classes, didn’t we? – Yeah and– – And Matt even came, to my
hypnobirthing classes as well just so he knew, like, I
mean, you were a bit like what we doing but it’s just good for you to know the process, what it’s all about. – Yeah, so when you
were under hypnotherapy, in labor, I knew things,
like to tell the midwives. Tip number four. – Is to know your partner’s birth plan and what she wants so even if you haven’t written a birth plan out, maybe just talk about your
wants and your don’t wants. – Yeah. – Like, I had a birth plan, but it was a very small birth plan because obviously things can change, but there were just a
few things that I wanted like Matt was gonna cut the chord, I didn’t mind having the vitamin
E injection if I needed to, I didn’t really want pain
relief, if I could avoid it. There was a few things, just like you had in
your wallet, didn’t you? – Yeah, you just need to
know a few things, don’t you, before you go in there, cause
obviously you’re in no place to make any decisions. – And if they ask you, at least you know my wishes
– Yeah. Yeah, and worse case if
you’ve got it written down, if it’s something you can’t remember, at least something you discussed
and you’ve made note of. ‘Cause you don’t wanna make a mistake. – No! (laughing) – Number five. – Is to be nice to the
midwives, get a rapport, but also be firm with the midwives. This is for the men by the way. – Yeah.
– Yeah. – You gotta remember that
they’re just doing their day job, so they wanna make their lives, their job as easy as possible, although they are the greatest
people on this planet. – Yeah, they’re amazing. – If you’re doing the same
thing day in, day out, you wanna do things that
make their jobs easier. But sometimes their
job being a bit easier, doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the best for you.
– Best for her. – We found out the first– – Yeah first.
– Second. – Oh yeah first, yeah and second, yeah. – Second time around that we had to– – Yeah ’cause first time
’round, like I said, we had a few things with the hypno, I was quite chill for our first time, like labor and stuff, so we didn’t really know,
’cause it’s your first, you didn’t really know
how firm we needed to be, with them, did we? And I gave birth to my first, on my back, and I cracked my tailbone, sorry. And then second time
’round, I said to Matt, whatever you do, do not let
me give birth on my back, and at one point with Caleb I
was seven centimeters dilated felt like I needed to push, and they had me on my back to examine me, and she wanted me to stay there, and Matt was like “Nope, sorry, “she has to give birth on all fours” You physically moved me, she wasn’t– – Yeah but she wasn’t–
– She was not happy about it – You made a mess of
something when we moved you and like, she said, “That’s
why I haven’t moved you.” Clearly because it was easier for her. Number six. – Is to write a list. Matt, especially, works
really well with lists. I think it was really nice
for him to have something to follow while I was in labor ’cause when we’re giving birth,
kind of, like, in the zone but you’re kind of left, like, not knowing exactly what to do. – No. – So especially in our third labor, when we had our baby at home, you had a list of things
you had to do, didn’t you? And you liked that.
– Yes, say hello. – No but he was like, it
was like, get towels ready, call the midwife, it was all these things, I just felt like you worked
well having that list, or even if you’re going to hospital, like, have you got the car seat? Have you got the bag? Have you got the chargers? Have you got the camera? Have you, I dunno, like– – Yeah, some people don’t
work like that but I do. – Having some jobs, it really helped him. – You don’t look back and think aww, wish I’d been a bit more organized, and do ya know what I mean,
it’s not a massive task, is it? Even had a practice run for it. – Yeah! No, did we do it that time? – Yeah, ’cause it was a home birth, yeah. Not with the others, you didn’t
pretend to visit hospital. (laughing) Where do I go, where do I go? – That’s not a bad idea, though, where’s the maternity ward? You’ll be super organized,
yeah, we didn’t do that. – Walk in with, you could
put a cushion up your tummy, like six months before. – Argh! That is funny. People are gonna think
we do role play now. – Yeah. – We don’t. – No.
(laughing) Number seven. – Is to think of some motivational things that you can say while
your partner is in labor. Don’t you think? – Yeah, ’cause you’re
gonna be on the spot, she needs to hear some comforting words, you don’t wanna say keep going, baby, EastEnders is on in half an hour. (laughing) – No, you don’t. – I’m gonna miss the football
if you don’t hurry up. – Yeah, don’t say that. You wanna say, like you’re doing amazing, I know you can do this, like without– – Ask your wife before
what she wants to hear. (laughing) Things that she get moved by. – What would you like to hear? No, with our children, we
knew what we were having, and we knew the names,
so Matt would be like, we’re gonna meet Frasier today, or I dunno, you could say, like, some really felt like, labor
takes everything out of you, so if you can draw some strength. – Also to make her laugh. – Yeah but we were laughing
between contractions, weren’t we?
– Yeah. – Oh and that’s a really good point, do not ask questions during a contraction. Wait 60 to 90 seconds, do not ask while she’s in that much pain. – Number eight. – Is similar to the last point, but if you can, find out ways that she likes to be
comforted before labor. So, for me, while I was giving birth, every contraction, I need to hold Matt, like I need him to hug me,
and if he walked too far, I was like, get back here. I need to hug you! ‘Cause that oxytocin, like, it actually helps with the pain. So if your wife, or
partner, like foot massages, back massages, I dunno, music, get music, just think of things that will help. – Number nine. – Is if you see something gross, do not mention it and be strong because, yes, you’re gonna
see some hard things, it must actually be really hard for a man watching the person they
love and their child go through all that pain.
– Yeah. – But you need to, like,
not break down on us. – To be fair, you don’t look at it, in that way, whatsoever, that I think a woman is
worried that a man is thinking, oh my God, like, what am I seeing here? You are just watching
your child being born. – Yeah and Matt was so cute that before, when we’re comin’ up with these tips, I said, like–
– In the rehearsals. – No, but you’re gonna see
like, you see everything and you know, some of it’s not pretty, but Matt said you don’t think of it like that’s my wife, whatever. He said you think of it like, that’s my child, that’s my son. – Yeah, that’s what
you’re looking for new– – Yeah you’re not thinking about– – Thinking about you? – Stuff going around and around in it. – Number 10. – Is get the car seat sorted. That is a dad job. I’ll link below, what car seat we chose, and a whole review on it, but I feel like that is
your job to organize, like we’ve got enough going on, no? – Do you how stressful car seats are? – And you need a car seat, ’cause they won’t let you
leave hospital without it. So you need to get that sorted
at like, what, 35 weeks? Maybe even sooner. – Yeah, I’d say sooner, you never know. – Yeah. – And the final tip is to buy
your partner a push present. – Yes, that is a very good tip and I feel like push presents are a big thing in North America but less of a big thing here in the UK but it’s such a nice thing to get, so it’s, basically, a push
present is just a nice present that you give to your partner
after they’ve given birth or even when you get home, like when we had Frasier, Matt, pulled out this ole gift wrapped, it was like this nice frame and I dunno, just a really nice touch, because you’ve just been
through all that, you survived, you’re all emotional.
– Get her a frame. – You’re like hormonal, and
then someone gives you a present and it’s nice too, and you’re like aww. So, yeah, like go all
out, get like jewelry, bag, or like, I dunno,
just bits she likes, maybe even, like, get
some really nice snacks in that you know are her favorite, or just like–
– Flowers. – Yeah, a push present is really nice. – Right so that’s it for this video. I really hoped you liked Matt’s tips on how to be the perfect birth partner. Please feel free to share this video with anyone that you
know that is pregnant, and their partners as well. And yeah, let me know if you have any other tips in the comments. And we’ll see you very soon. Bye. (gentle music) Do you wanna say hello or anything? – Hello.
(laughing) – Tip number one. (goofy mumbling) – Tip number one. – Wait, do it one more
time, I wasn’t ready. – Tip number two. – Oh wait, sorry, one more time. ‘Kay, go. – You’ve done this before.
– Sorry. – Well, I’ll stop doing fingers ’cause I’m gonna run outta–
– Tip number three. – Tip number three. Number seven. (laughing) – Do it again, sorry.
– Sorry. Number seven. (laughing) – ‘Kay one more time. – I’m gonna cut the numbers out I think. – No, I like it. Okay, go. – Number seven. – Is to, what was the tip? (laughs) Find out how she likes to be comforted. – She’s crap at this. 12 minutes. Been a minute if she’d listen to me. (laughing) And the final tip is haven’t
gotten enough fingers, ays I have, 11! (laughing) That’s 10 1/2. Final tip is? – Wait, okay, okay. – Wear a condom. They didn’t call it a push present though. – No but, you know, we
deserve a present for that. – Yeah. – A designer vagina. – But what if they didn’t push? (laughing)

Author:

100 thoughts on “TIPS FOR BIRTH PARTNERS | MEN IN LABOUR AND DELIVERY | DAD HACKS | EMILY NORRIS”

  • kayleighangelk says:

    We didn’t have a plan with our first as had to be monitored closely throughout due to her health but definitely have some things I don’t want this time round (I’m due in 12 weeks). My parter was amazing the first time round so supportive and made me laugh through out which helped so much. Think I’m owed a push present though xx

  • This is lovely!! With our first child, we attended all the classes and my husband was really involved in the learning process. With our second due in just two weeks, I think he's forgotten much about this process ?

  • Perfect!! I’m going to re-watch this with my boyfriend as we’re having our first boy in August ? could the two of you film a video on the man’s role when you get home with a new born? ??

  • MrsEannaFidock says:

    I love the tips! I wish my husband new all of these when I was pregnant with my two boys! he was the most unorganised flapping person ever! haha x

  • stephanie ayling says:

    This is such a great video to share to parents to be. I’d have loved to have shown my husband this, really great tips! And love the outtakes ? xx

  • I had my baby 5months ago and I'm not pregnant but oh my I couldn't not watch! Even though I watched countless of these videos while I was pregnant! Love it

  • Jessica Michael says:

    Fabulous tips! Idea for a future vid: my husband and I love taking personality tests (Meyers Briggs, Love Languages, etc). Y’all should take, share results, discuss how it’s important to understand your partners personality in navigating conflict, etc.

    Reason that came to me is because I’m an extreme extrovert and my hub is introverted. (I could totally be off) but it seems like you and Matt have a similar dynamic? Just a thought I wanted to pass on! Hugs from VA!

  • Sheridan Joyce says:

    Matt just cracks me up when he finally appears in ur videos. And as iv said before ur just such a lovely couple. Xx

  • Esther den Ouden says:

    This is a great vlog. Also love the topic. I just went through labour with my husband , 3 weeks ago. My husband loved your car sign tip. We doing that for the next birth. Thanks for sharing. God bless.

  • Noemi Varga-Kokh says:

    In Hungary if the partner wants to go in to the delivery room he has to wear a steril gown which can be bought in the hospital from a vending machine. It's practical to buy it before the big day so you don't have to worry about it and having change etc.

  • As Seen On Jean says:

    This couldn’t have come at a better time – I’m 38 weeks this week! Totally sending the link to my Hubster ❤️

  • My hubby (who has now done it 4 times) said comfortable shoes are an essential. Men will spend so long standing next to the bed helping and comforting, good comfy shoes will help!!

  • Bahareh Webb says:

    Why would she have you lying on your back??? That’s just wrong . I’d think all fours is best right? You might as well go to the hospital for that.

  • Fatimah Ullah says:

    Definitely agree that the car seat is a dad job. My husband made us wait for so long on the day we were discharged because he was trying to figure out how to install the car seat. ?

  • Find out how she likes to be comforted before you even marry her… Don't just wait until she's pregnant to figure this stuff out

  • Stacey Ellwood says:

    Fab tips! Thanks for sharing. I’m 20 weeks and need all the help I can get so this video is really useful. ?

  • Loved this video. Matt is such a hoot and you guys are so super cute together. You can tell your best friends as well as in love ❤️ Xx

  • Great video all excellent tips. I got take that tickets as my push present after our third and they were such a lovely gift. Xx

  • Grace, Faith & Psychology says:

    If you’re looking to work from home and want to make your own schedule, Click the link below to become an online ESL Teacher. All you need is a bachelor’s degree (in any subject ?). Email me at [email protected] & I can help you get hired ?

    http://t.vipkid.com.cn?refersourceid=e01&refereeId=14398860

  • Is there any chance you could do a video on Jacksons hair? My little boy who is just shy of 9 months has started getting lots of tight curls on top. I would love to see how you maintain and style his gorgeous hair. Thank you x

  • My hubby got me some comfort things as a push present. I had the worst pregnancy with vomiting, nausea, back pain, sciatica, lightning crotch and everything else imaginable and hated the pregnancy. He gave me some really comfy pyjamas, slippers and a dressing gown. Because I had been sooo uncomfortable for so long the present was to make me feel comfortable again. It meant the world to me!

  • Tracey Hearts and Violets says:

    As a Midwife and Mum of 2 boys I can say these are great tips. Always love your videos Emily! ❤️xxx

  • Lascelle Fam says:

    Hi Emily! I was wondering what your boys middle names are? You picked such lovely names. I'm struggling to name my two little ones (due in 3 weeks!) A boy and a girl, struggling with both names!

    Just to give an idea of names I like my three other childen are called Esme Elisabeth (7yo) Felix John (4yo) Maeve Zoe (2yo)

    Thank you!

  • Anna Vlachaki says:

    One of the motivational/comforting things my hubby said during my labour was “there’s jam on toast at the end!” ??

  • charlotte_arachnia says:

    Im 32 weeks with my second and i had a really traumatic labour with my first 5 years ago because of a midwife controlling everything to make her job easier. I really appreciated your section on being firm with them. Im very anxious to have a more positive experience this time and have more control xxx ?

  • I wonder what you'd think of it? I asked my hubby to pack ALL of our bags, ie mine and baby's too. I piled all the stuff next to empty bags, laid relevant lists next to them and he's put the stuff inside. That way he knows what's inside for when I'm in pain/can't move! The downside, I'll probably have trouble finding anything myself but then great excuse to ask him to fetch things lol
    PS. Each list has a 'last minute' part on it, ie things you can't pack weeks ahead (phone+headphones, fruit/fresh sandwiches, favourite pillow, yoga ball…)
    Many thanks for your videos, I don't have long now but been educating on your channel from a complete fresher!

  • Hasini Ganegala says:

    This gave me such a laugh! Thank you! I am currently pregnant with my second and been feeling so exhausted and watching you guys cheered me up! Matt is awesome! More matt i’d say! ??

    I think labour is just as hard on the husbands. Maybe not physically but emotionally it is just as hard. It is difficult to watch the person you love go through so much pain and not be able to do anything about it. Sometimes i think their strength in supporting us, is often forgotten, and needs to be remembered and appreciated. ?

  • Tina Schaefer says:

    I'm almost 37 weeks! First time mom here with my baby boy. Wish me luck and thank you so much. Oh my gosh I hope I dont break a tail bone!

  • Megan Rogerson says:

    A "dry run" is a great idea! Between our first and second child the hospital was completely remodelled so I made sure my husband came with me to at least one midwife appointment so he knew where to go.

    In Australia there are some garages who are authorised carseat fitters, so if you don't feel comfortable installing it yourself arrange to take it there and have the pros do it!

  • Just Cutting It says:

    I felt like every single person on the planet had a question for me AS SOON as I started contracting. I wanted to punch them. I know it sounds extreme but goodness was that frustrating!

  • Gavriel Abrahams says:

    A push present doesn't need to be a "gift". Some of my favorite comforts after giving birth was a fancy latte (the ones with a million calories and 3 names ?), a big milkshake from a local burger joint (not a chain!), a frame for the footprints

  • Katherine Palmer says:

    I think push presents are becoming more popular even my partner who’s never heard of them before got me one and it’s the most beautiful “Mummy” locket in a gold heart shape got so emotional when I opened it! Xx

  • Katherine Palmer says:

    Tips- give her water through a straw, wipe her forehead especially during summer months, keep family updated so that they’re not asking her, ensure she’s as comfy as possible, I.e if she wants lights off or fan on or even soft music playing. And the biggest tip is to be involved with the birth, my partner was so involved he was encouraging me to push, and was watching everything happen through the love he had for his child he wanted to see them come into the world and I find they love and respect you so much more after that xx

  • Josephine Clark says:

    I can’t believe you cracked your tail bone ? I really didn’t want to give birth on my back but was so out of it and no one suggests I moved I could even say. I deffo think I would of given birth easier if I had. Next time I’m gonna be really firm on that and hopefully give birth on all 4s instead. My partner had never held a new born before our son was born or had much to do with kids. He was great no moaning, no fear, comforting and just great I was really lucky Xx

  • Michaela Hodge says:

    Oh my goodness, yes! Point 5 (was it?) about midwives. As a FTM who had to have the propess induction, I completely went into the zone, all quiet and focused. The morning shift midwife was really patronizing. She didn't take me seriously, wouldn't examine me, wouldn't confirm that my waters had gone and only offered me codeine. Then when she finally examined me after 4 hours, rushed me to delivery 10cm dilated and my gorgeous boy was born 90 mins later. Next time my husband will be telling them that the quieter I am, the more pain I'm in and offer me a bath or some bloody drugs! Haha, at least I know I can labour drug free though! Love the channel guys xx

  • Great information in the video. My wife had me watch it and at first all I could think is that Matt has ruined it for the rest of us husbands by setting the bar so high? However it was nice to see and it did give me some good pointers for our next child that we will meet in about a month.

  • Thank you so much for this. This is our first baby, and we want to be prepared so that the labor process goes as smoothly as possible. Your video was so helpful. Cheers!

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